Learning to Dance

Life is lots of ups and downs, just like the weather here which can change faster than a woman changes her mind about which outfit to wear. This morning I was so happy because the ACA coordinator invited me to join an outing on Sunday with other volunteers and our single ACA student (as in, just one, not a reflection on his marital status!). I was even happier when she said that we would be stopping to get manaeesh for breakfast on the way because that is my most favourite.

Then in the afternoon I felt somewhat disheartened. I used to pride myself on being able to figure things out quickly, problem-solve, and connect people with solutions. Coming here, I've felt at times like I'm moving through slow-drying cement as I try to understand the host of cultures (in our department alone we have 8 cultures represented) and how processes and procedures work. I'm used to working in an organizational model that leaned more towards a flat order in regards to authority and now I'm in a model that has several levels of hierachy. I'm forever worried that I'm not going through the right procedures while trying to figure out at what point I can leverage my education, experience, and age. I don't mean in a dictatorial way but I've found that the desire I had to be involved on a decision-making level where I worked before has not gone away.

When I was in my 20s, I always looked up to my older friends and thought, when I reach my 30s, then I'll look and speak with authority. People will listen to me and respect my opinion. Being that I always looked at least 7 years younger than I really was, it was sometimes hard to be taken seriously. I also don't speak out as much because I don't want to be rude and interrupt and I've found there is always at least one person in any group that can fill the dead space (which would be me at home!). So I've been a quieter person in the workplace as I observe.

Then the evening cheered me up again. I went to prayer meeting out of habit but I was tired after two nights of not sleeping well or enough and I had a million things to do. I was glad I went, however, because afterwards I was able to see a dear friend I hadn't seen in awhile. Then I went to hang out with my neighbours, Lina & Amar, and they taught me how to dance Egyptian style. Being that I grew up in a conservative setting, I have no rhythm nor ability but I did my best and I think I'm getting the hang of it. To dance properly, you have to rotate your hip up and down which is trickier than it seems. No, it's not belly-dancing :) but it's a great way to get some exercise!

Ups and downs, that is how the dance of life goes, and I must learn how to handle the emotions without letting them dictate my experience. For today, I'm thankful for friends and moments that bring joy.