To Be Seen

Excuse me for being honest, really, it's your personality. So you really aren't married? I laughed as I shook my head. No, I'm not. I guess it must seem strange in a country where marriage is very much acceptable here.

The kind looking man with salt and pepper hair and a full beard had come into the classroom just a few minutes prior with two college-age guys. They were the late arrivals from one of the 15 or so universities that were part of the university fair in Roumieh at a French-speaking high school. The placard outside boasted a Trilingual school which I thought was quite impressive and the kids easily switched between French, English, and Arabic as they talked with recruiters.

M and I had left the university rather early as our taxi driver was double-booked and had to head to the airport right after dropping us off so he could pick up an incoming guest lecturer. When we reached the high school, one of the teachers kindly told us that being we were more than an hour early, the classrooms were still in use and we would have to amuse ourselves until it was closer to starting time. We left the pop-up banners and roll-on suitcase in the lobby appropriately titled Salon and headed off to find a restaurant so I could get something to eat.

Following Googlemaps, I was about to head off a side street to find Mounir, a restaurant that M told me was one of the most expensive around where a glass of water cost $10, when we spotted a Resto Cafe right in front of us. Though named Taj, there was nothing Indian about it, as it was a simple fast food snack shop and hangout for the local high school kids. Still, they had French-fry sandwiches so I ordered one, M got a bottle of water for 66 cents, and we sat to chat, surrounded by casually smoking high schoolers.

A side note on the French-fry sandwiches. These are my downfall and the reason why I spend endless hours at the gym! Each thinly rolled up sandwich comes stuffed with coleslaw, perfectly sour cucumber pickles, sweet ketchup, spicy toum (garlic spread), and about a pound of salty French fries that have just jumped out of the fryer. Each bite is an explosion of ying and yang and I cannot go more than a month without ordering one from Al Mazar at the bottom of the hill.

After eating and returning to the school, we set up inside a classroom that appeared to be meant for two universities. We claimed the only teacher's desk for our supplies, since the other university hadn't appeared yet, set up a banner to attract kids inside, and soon M was in the hallway gathering small clusters around her as she explained why they should come study at our university.

Nearly 30 minutes later, the other university showed up. We smiled and exchanged hellos as they entered, I perhaps a little too enthusiastically because I was so happy to see someone I recognized from previous orientations. They set up their brochures on one of the front desks, then the older man wandered over to try to chat a little. I explained my Arabic was very little and his English was marginally better than my Arabic so he began to ask where I was from and what I did. The usual questions.

So you are here, living in Lebanon, you and. . .slight pause. . .your husband? He asked most sincerely. I laughed and replied, No, it's just me! He seemed surprised and asked why. I shrugged. I guess that's just the way it is. I didn't have a clever or witty answer to give at the time. It wasn't long before he came back around to the same topic, again asking to be sure. Then he asked me for my phone number.

I'm not very good at avoiding direct questions. I have friends who are masters at returning awkward questions with blunt answers that make the questioner squirm. I have friends who avoid questions by simply smiling and not answering them. I have friends who can talk in circles around the person until they are completely confused and never did get the answer they were looking for. Unfortunately, however, I've been blessed with the inability to make up anything on the spot.

My feeble attempt at giving him a different number, by shuffling for the brochure and mumbling that he could reach me there, was met with an insistent, No, I want your number. I wasn't able to pay dumb to that direct question either, so I meekly dictated it to him. He gave me a missed call, which is how things are done here, so I could save his contact info in my phone. He said it was nice to see me, I agreeing that I remembered seeing him at orientations previous and he, not catching what I said, said Yes, not just at orientations but elsewhere also!

Some students came in and he went over to the opposite corner of the room. Within seconds my phone buzzed, then buzzed again. I opened it up to see that he'd sent me a photo of himself along with his name. I pretended to be intently busy sending text messages whilst trying my hardest to figure out how to get through the next hour with Mr. Friendly in the same room!

Thankfully, time went by rather quickly and when he came over to ask M a question, we found out we had friends in common. As we packed up to go, he and his team left first, with friendly goodbyes and a handshake. I knew his name now and at the next orientation I would be able to greet him and say hello in a kind way. Though he seemed nice enough, I knew that our communication would be limited going forward as we were coming from very different backgrounds, he being from the majority religion in the Middle East and I from a small minority denomination.

I learned one thing this afternoon from that interesting encounter. The gentleman was bold enough to approach me and intentional in letting me know that I was special. Sometimes it's easy to forget to see other people. We rush through life, intent on our tasks, looking to accomplish huge goals, when there are human beings standing right in the middle of our path waiting for us to see them. Instead, we maneuver around them as if walking around a light pole, our heads down as we furiously tap on our plastic and titanium devices that rule our lives.

Do we really see others? Do we take the time to sit on a green wooden bench on a Friday afternoon as we spend a few moments chatting with students who are enjoying the unusually warm February sun? Do we stop in to say hello in the morning when passing by windows of faces, or are we more concerned about checking work emails from the weekend? Do we offer a refugee family a ride home after an evening program at church or do we shake their hand and then hurry to our home so we can be out of the cold?

When Jesus was here, He saw the unseeable. The world teaches those who are middle or upper-class to ignore those perceived as beneath them. It diminishes or removes their worth as valuable human beings created by a God Who really cares about them. Stopping to talk to a drunk man, encouraging him to swap out water for whiskey, and then buying him a fried cauliflower sandwich is not what is taught in the textbook of life. Yet this is the very reason why we should go against what is expected and be intentional in seeing the humanity hidden underneath.

Jesus saw the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years and tried to shrink into anonymity in the crowd. He saw the lepers who had been ostracized and left to beg far removed from community. He saw the widow whose only son had just died, leaving her without male protection. He saw the prostitute who had questioned countless times why religious leaders were her main source of income. He saw the helpless cripple who had waited more than 38 years for healing by a pool that disappointed. He saw the children and their mothers who were longing for a touch of blessing. He saw the short man whose stature had diminished in society because he had the odious task of collecting government tax. He saw the little boy with enough food to feed the faith of thousands.

Jesus saw those who others looked right through.

I used to think that the familiar admonition, Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be, (Matthew 6:21) was a reminder not to focus on material blessings but on spiritual blessings in heaven. In other words, instead of spending all my time working long hours and worrying about having more money, I should focus on getting to know God and thinking about heaven. It was a nice enough cliche thought but as I reflected on this afternoon's experience, a moment of illumination occurred. 

The treasure is not my spiritual blessings. It's not even numbers of people who are saved because I've shared God with them, though this is another common fallacy we all too easily subscribe to. 

The treasure is the person who is standing right in front of me. Right in front of you. Waiting for you to see them. To really see someone and cherish their value is a gift we are honoured to give. This is what it means to be a steward of what God has given us. It means to treat not only the earth and the possessions we have been given as a sacred responsibility, it means to treasure each person we have been privileged to share life with. To desire the best for them as we learn more about God and what His plan is for us. 

This is our calling; this is our blessing. To treasure the sacrament of earthly life within the context of God's desire that eternal life be given to all. Then we will truly understand what it means for the desires of our heart to be fulfilled (Psalm 37:4) when we take delight in God. As we truly see others, we shall be truly seen by Him so that one day He will invite us all to enter into the limitless joy of His kingdom (Matthew 25:34-40).