The semester is in full swing now and suddenly my life has become very busy. Marisa is back, I'm on the social committee for the faculty & staff, and my work is starting to get rather complex. I'm content again. In the summer, it was somewhat discombobulating because all the activities I was used to had disappeared. This Sabbath, for example, though, I will be helping serve food in the caf for lunch, go on refugee visitation, choir practice, decorating the caf for the welcome party, and then making sure the party goes well in addition to cleaning up afterwards.
Today I gave the thought for prayer meeting. I'm not one who likes to be up front or to lead out, but I was asked and I had promised God when I first came that I would do my best to be as available in ministry as possible. I try not to say no. So Monday evening, I sat down and tried to come up with an idea of what to talk about. I asked a friend, I looked at past blog entries for inspiration, I looked at part of a DVD on mental health. Nothing was jiving, though.
Tuesday evening I exercised and watched the volleyball game instead of planning prayer meeting. When I returned to my room it was after 10 pm and I sat down on my bed to think again. With my phone turned off and no distractions, God put the words into my heart. I rehearsed it several times and then went to sleep.
I was so nervous today during song service. I could see my right arm muscles trembling and I worried that the students would be able to hear it in my voice. The time came and I stood up, placed my notes and Bible on a music stand, and began to speak. I forgot I was holding a microphone. I forgot I was nervous. I forgot I was speaking to college students who find it hard to focus at the end of a long full day. I simply shared what was on my heart.
The topic was connecting to God, how to stay connected, and what some practical steps are. I shared from my own experience, I asked them questions, and I was thankful they were interacting with the topic. I briefly glanced at my notes to make sure I was staying on track but because it was personal I didn't have to read everything verbatim. I longed to connect their attention to the reality that God wanted to connect with them.
When it was over, I realized that God had spoken through me the words He wanted to share. On Monday evening, I was trying to find words that either I or someone else had written so I could package it neatly into something that made sense. While there may be a place and time for that, I knew after 3 hours of wrestling with a topic that God had something else in mind.
I hope it was helpful for the students. My biggest burden is to help students understand that a relationship with God is not based on meeting a checklist of achievements in different spiritual areas, such as having one hour of devotions every day. I want them to understand that God is relational and desires to connect with us just as we long to connect with our dearest friends. This is my life testimony. It's not one of being redeemed from drugs and alcohol. It's a story of learning Who God is and how He wants to connect to me.
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