Today was one of my most difficult and kindest days. It started out well enough. The choir went to a nearby church to sing and we arrived with time to spare before Sabbath School began. I was happy to see several familiar faces of people I'd known 17 years ago and enjoyed spending time with my Portuguese/Brazilian friends who seem to comprise the majority nationality here! Traffic was a bit tight on the way home, literally and figuratively, as drivers here do not observe traffic lanes if there even are any. There's basically one rule: if you see a spot and you can fit your car in it, then go. I had a taxi driver fold in his side mirror so he could squeeze between a parked car and traffic!
We sped home as quickly as we could manage in stop-and-go-traffic and made it 10 minutes before line closed at the caf. I hurried in, put my jacket and bag on a nearby table, and then went to get a plastic plate and get some food. I looked at the line. Is there some rice or something to go with the vegetables? I asked the student who was serving that day. Apparently there was lasagna but they were completely out. Boiled beets, a mixture of peas and carrots, black lentils, and a handful of greens was all I gleaned of the hot food available. I had to hunt through the greens to find some that weren't smothered in cheese. The student, feeling sorry for me, gave me two small cupcakes for dessert instead of the allotted one. I took my plate and returned to the dorm trying hard not to cry.
I'm thankful for food. I'm thankful that I'm not starving or limited to only three or four ingredients to eat. I'm thankful I get 3 meals a day. Yet it's awful hard to be thankful when the entree is finished, it's Sabbath, and I'm hungry. I stopped taking the sack breakfast because the only nutritional thing in it is the piece of fruit which I can pick up at any meal. This morning I'd had some bread which kept me til lunch but was not enough to last a day. I looked down at the plate of too-salty vegetables and wondered what to do. Thankfully I had bought a noodle cup for emergencies so I boiled some water and rehydrated the noodles, adding them to my vegetables for a complete meal.
I'd kept quiet about the meal situation for six weeks but now I was so frustrated, I posted a picture on social media. Unfortunately, the ones who commented (granted, they ALL had their own kitchens and cooked delicious meals all the time) were about as helpful as Job's friends. They thought the food looked great. After reading several discouraging comments, I decided to delete the post. It's true that it is difficult to understand someone's situation unless you are actually in it and this experience highlighted it for me.
This evening I trudged to the cafeteria with my own plate so I could get the standard sandwich, chips and fruit we get for supper every Saturday evening. There are no plates, though, which is humiliating to me. We don't get paper to wrap the sandwiches in or even a plastic baggy. Somehow we're supposed to eat the very messy sandwich with our hands and manage. I made my sandwich but couldn't bring myself to eat it. So I left the cafeteria, returned to the dorm, and then put the sandwich in the fridge to eat later.
I wondered if the new dean and his wife were having game night as they'd mentioned the week before that they planned to have it on a regular basis. After an exchange of texts, I found out a group of friends were already there, preparing to play, and hurried to join them. Here I found a home away from home as they welcomed me in. I ate delicious lunch leftovers of eggplant and rice, I learned to play Rook, I laughed and joked with people who spoke my heart language, and listened as James Galloway's majestic accompaniment brought a smile back to my face. A feeling of gratitude for their kindness filled my heart.
I'm learning a lot on my journey here. When I spent six weeks at AUC before it shut down, I struggled through an East Coast summer with no air conditioning, living in a grimy dorm room, and trying to make sense of a research teacher whose pet peeve was Adventists who didn't approve of McDonald's hamburgers. I was thankful that summer for the friends who welcomed me into their lives and together we escaped the campus in a rental car with air conditioning so we could breathe again. I returned with a new resolve to extend kindness and be helpful to newcomers and do my best to help them feel at home.
Now I'm learning once again how simple acts of kindness can lift someone's spirits and help them feel like they can manage to keep going. I am grateful for each person who ministers through kindness and I want to learn how to be kind to others also. It is my natural tendency to judge and assume that others know what is best and should be doing it. This experience is teaching me to offer grace and do my best to provide a place of understanding and kindness.
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